{"id":1937,"date":"2018-02-05T03:16:56","date_gmt":"2018-02-05T03:16:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/?p=1937"},"modified":"2018-04-16T03:12:32","modified_gmt":"2018-04-16T03:12:32","slug":"raising-a-holy-family-tip-no-3-spiritual-reading","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/raising-a-holy-family-tip-no-3-spiritual-reading\/","title":{"rendered":"Raising a holy family – Tip no. 3 – Spiritual Reading"},"content":{"rendered":"

How to raise a holy family.\u00a0 Tip number 3 – Spiritual Reading<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

We’ve often met couples who love God and have struggled to raise a family, they\u2019ve maintained the practice of weekly church attendance and even sent their children to private religion-based schools.\u00a0 Yet, to their chagrin, sorrow and frustration the children reach adulthood having chosen paths that do not include adherence to the family faith, often living in ways quite contrary.<\/p>\n

So, how can we pass on our faith to the children?\u00a0 How can we explain the many teachings, practices, attitudes, beliefs and world view of our faith without harping?\u00a0 Our family will only encounter so many situations before the children leave our home\u2026how can we prepare them for new situations, for the mind sets they will encounter in high school and college, for situations they will encounter as adults?<\/p>\n

We were looking for a solution to these questions.\u00a0 Church alone was not the solution.\u00a0 Although Sunday sermons are often great they are usually not direct regarding specifics; the children need to have generalizations illustrated with tangible real-life situations. The readings and homily can make for good discussion after services, but we needed something more.\u00a0\u00a0TV shows and movies were not satisfactory either.\u00a0 TV is a weak medium for formation, as the shows are often a porridge of good, bad and confused messages. We used movies for some aspects of formation, but this medium had limitations too, first, we could not easily review the material beforehand, we had to take it as it came, drink from the firehose so to speak, secondly it was mostly passive.\u00a0 However, it did have the advantage of providing sources of material for thoughtful consideration.\u00a0 And, watching a movie together, say on a Friday night, could provide us a common experience, a memory, which we could refer to between the parents and children.<\/p>\n

Then one day, after attending a retreat, a solution occurred to me.\u00a0 It was a variation of a timeless parenting staple, the read aloud\u2026but with a couple twists. \u00a0 Here’s how it works, some tips and techniques and the benefits.<\/p>\n

Simply put, we select some book that will be excellent to promote growth of spiritual knowledge in the family. \u00a0 (There is a list of some sample books at the end.)\u00a0 Then, each week, at an agreed time, the family members gather in some room of the house and after opening with a prayer to the Holy Spirit, usually led by mom, we begin reading from the book.\u00a0 Usually we start with dad, who checks with everyone that such and such paragraph is where we left off.\u00a0 Then the reader will read a couple pages and pass the book to the next person.\u00a0 We\u2019ll continue this way rotating the book around the room until 45 minutes to an hour has passed and then we stop and close with another prayer.\u00a0\u00a0 It seems too simple\u2026\u201dWait!…this was the big idea?\u201d\u00a0 Yes, but read on.\u00a0 It seems simple but there is a lot going on here.<\/p>\n

First, the dedication of an hour each Sunday to spiritual reading, year in, year out, sends a strong message to the family that we honor the commitment to keep the Sabbath holy.\u00a0 A good parent should never overlook the \u2018messaging\u2019 they are sending out by their habits, plans, attitudes.\u00a0 Parenting must be done intentionally to be effective.\u00a0 It takes thinking and strategy.\u00a0 A good parent will use subliminal messaging to their advantage.\u00a0 Observe what you do, and what message it sends.<\/p>\n

Secondly, the very act of coordinating with the family members the time in which to do the spiritual reading creates a requirement for cooperation, order, and often versatility (especially when there are one or more children in high school or sports).\u00a0 We would gather round a white board hung in our hall way and map out the weekend, including Sunday reading. Each of the children\u2019s and parent\u2019s obligations would be taken into consideration and then mass, meal times, spiritual reading, chores, work, sports and homework slotted in so that all the goals were covered.\u00a0 I\u2019ll write more about the white board in another tip.<\/p>\n

Thirdly, the children were at different reading levels, so listening to the parents and \u2018olders\u2019 read introduced them to new vocabulary and enunciation.\u00a0 If it was a \u2018youngers\u2019 turn to read, the olders learned patience waiting for the youngers to struggle through a section, but they would clap and encourage them when they managed through a tough section or word.\u00a0 On occasion someone would want to comment on a passage, a short discussion might ensue.\u00a0 Sometimes we were in wonder and awe at the sufferings or tenacity of a person in the story, sometimes moved to tears by the struggles they endured, or the depths of depravity they overcame.<\/p>\n

Fourth, we can\u2019t overlook the benefit of being able to select books about the growth of the church over the ages, from early Christian times, middle ages, through to the present.\u00a0 And experiencing the lives of Christians in various cultures, in Africa, Japan, Latin America, and in various aspects of vocation from missionary life of St. Paul, monastic life of Bernard of Clairvaux, cloistered life of St. Therese and the spiritual struggles of contemporary Christians.\u00a0 All of this reading, over many years breathed life into the teachings of the faith.\u00a0 The family together were stunned, wept and laughed at the failures, victories and foibles of ordinary persons struggling to become saints.<\/p>\n

Lastly, but I could write more, there is something to be said for allowing others to teach your children profound truths while you have the advantage of listening in.\u00a0 So much of our modern culture excludes the parent: \u00a0phones with earbuds, social media correspondence, internet videos\u2026these are all unchecked floodgates of ideas into your children\u2019s minds.\u00a0 As the twig is bent, so grows the tree, and many parents passively allow their children to be mauled by ideas that sow seeds of disaster.\u00a0 Why?… when parents are charged by creation to be their children\u2019s primary instructors?\u00a0 But in our spiritual reading these systemic weaknesses are avoided.\u00a0 We not only can pick the material to be read but we can hear the words spoken to our children and quietly absorb their reaction\u2026are they struggling with a concept, a principle, or do they understand it?\u00a0 Are they attentive or bored?\u00a0 Ah, to have an hour weekly to sit with your children and consider and observe their state of maturation…That is a gift.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Tips and techniques:<\/p>\n

First, start simply, read for a shorter period at first, perhaps just one-half hour, but as the children mature move this to longer, we found 50 minutes to an hour was typically the most they would want to spend, however there were times when they would push to read more when we were in a particularly interesting story.\u00a0 We started with short stories, but eventually moved to full length books, and teaching documents like the Catechism, but also alternated to keep it interesting.<\/p>\n

A fixed time of day is not necessary.\u00a0 We had to keep it flexible to accommodate everyone\u2019s schedule. Sometimes it even meant reading in the car on the way to an event or family visit, and when on vacation.<\/p>\n

Reading last thing in the day or after a heavy meal can be hard.\u00a0 Many was a time when one or more of us would begin to nod off and have to stand up, or walk while reading, to stay attentive.\u00a0 That is ok. The personal push to accomplish our goal builds tenacity.\u00a0 And the children seemed to find particular humor in watching a tired mom or dad slump away or begin to mumble when reading.\u00a0 To realize mom or dad are human, and to grow in compassion for them, and watch them struggle, is good too.<\/p>\n

Here are some favorites that we have read as a family over the years:<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
Surprised by Truth,\u00a0 Surprised by Truth 2, \u00a0Surprised by Truth 3<\/p>\n

This series, three books, is fantastic for discovering what Christianity, and the Catholic faith have to offer.\u00a0 The three books cover the journey of 30 or so persons who made a journey from no faith or some faith, wending their way to Catholicism…what they struggled with or, didn’t understand.\u00a0 The stories move fast and in a non-systematic way build an organic understanding of the faith.<\/td>\n

Patrick Madrid<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Mere Christianity,\u00a0The Problem of Pain,\u00a0The Screwtape Letters,\u00a0The Great Divorce<\/p>\n

These are appropriate at high school age.\u00a0 Within these stories the young person explores the work of the human mind, the capacity of a person to deceive himself, the spiritual battle in everyday life.\u00a0 C. S. Lewis is a delightful and witty writer, with a great ability to reveal what we often overlook.<\/p>\n

(The children read The Chronicles of Narnia and the Perelandra series on their own)<\/td>\n

C.S. Lewis<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Shadow of His Wings<\/p>\n

For middle school to adult readers. The true story of a young man preparing for priesthood in Germany at the outbreak of WWiI.\u00a0 Goldmann\u2019s seminary class is forcibly inducted into the SS, where Goldmann is trained as a radioman and nurse but continues his seminary studies as possible.\u00a0 He manages to become a priest during the war and nearly dies in a prison camp in Africa.\u00a0 A truly amazing story of the power of intercessory prayer and the true presence of God in the Eucharist. This one had us on the edge of our seats at every page.<\/td>\n

Fr. Gereon Goldmann,OFM<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Family That Overtook Christ<\/p>\n

Covering the true\u00a0story of Bernard of Clairvaux, a soldier of France in medieval times, his family, his decision to leave warfare and to build a monastery, and how his family eventually joined him to dedicate their lives to Christ.\u00a0 Written with engaging dialogue re-living the events, this story put in our hearts a desire to become another family to ‘overtake Christ’.<\/td>\n

M. Raymond, OCSO<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Hidden Power of Kindness<\/p>\n

A powerful book unmasking how we miss opportunities for kindness, are often unkind while deceiving ourselves as to our motives.\u00a0 All of our family were awakened by this reading.\u00a0 We have seen in broken families a sincere reading restore family love lost.\u00a0 This is a classic for the ages.<\/td>\n

Rev. Lawrence G. Lovasik, S.V.D<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
With God in Russia, \u00a0He Leadeth Me<\/p>\n

Walter Joseph Ciszek, S.J. was a Polish-American Jesuit priest who conducted clandestine missionary work in the Soviet Union between 1939 and 1963. Fifteen of these years were spent in confinement and hard labor in the Gulag, plus five preceding them in Moscow’s infamous Lubyanka prison. He was released and returned to the United States in 1963, after which he wrote these two books and served as a spiritual director.\u00a0 The story is bracing.\u00a0 A cause has been opened for his canonization.<\/td>\n

Fr. Walter J. Ciszek, S.J.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Book of Ruth,\u00a0The Book of Tobit,\u00a0The Book of Job, The Book of Wisdom,\u00a0The Gospel of Matthew\u00a0The Gospel of John,\u00a0The Acts of the Apostles,\u00a0The Letter to the Galatians<\/p>\n

While all the bible is edifying, these books were selected for our family reading as a group.\u00a0 I think the\u00a0line they thought the most funny to hear was St. Paul writing “Oh stupid Galations…”<\/td>\n

The New American and Navarre Bibles<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
33 Days to Morning Glory<\/p>\n

(we read this in preparation for a family consecration)<\/td>\n

Fr. Michael E. Gaitley<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Christ is Passing By<\/p>\n

Very great homilies by the priest who founded Opus Dei.\u00a0 Reading him stimulated in our family a desire to make all aspects of our lives holy and harmonize the spiritual and secular aspects of our lives.<\/td>\n

St. Josemaria Escriva<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Grunt Padre: Father Vincent Robert Capodanno Vietnam 1966-1967<\/p>\n

This New York city youth became a priest and eventually a Marine who served as a chaplain in Vietnam.\u00a0 After years of ministry on the battlefield he was killed while attending to a fallen soldier caught in a firefight. Reading his story of perseverance built up in our family a resolve to live with tenacity. \u00a0 A cause for his canonization has been opened, he is now known as Servant of God, Father Vincent Capodanno.<\/td>\n

Fr. Daniel L. Mode<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Something Other Than God<\/p>\n

An engaging story of a modern-day blogger and Twitter writer’s journey from atheism to Catholicism.<\/td>\n

Jennifer Fulwiler<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
A Pocket Catechism for Kids<\/p>\n

We love this little Catechism.\u00a0 It could easily be recovered and published as an\u00a0abbreviated Catechism for adults, it is engaging for everyone.\u00a0 It is written in a question and answer format like the old Baltimore Catechism.\u00a0 We would read each question multiple times, asking the next person the question and them responding, then\u00a0them asking the next person and that person responding,\u00a0 thus going around the room.. Ex: “Question 38. Where do the sacraments get their power to give grace?<\/em>” \u201cThe power comes from Jesus’ own life, especially His suffering, death, and resurrection.\u00a0 God’s power works through the sacraments in spite of our weakness.”<\/td>\n

Fr Kris D. Stubna \/ Mike Acquilina<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
The Apostolates Family Catechism<\/p>\n

This a more difficult read.\u00a0 We read this late high school and college years when college students could join.<\/td>\n

Rev. Lawrence G. Lovasik, S.V.D<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd<\/sup> Edition (various sections)<\/p>\n

 <\/td>\n

Libreria Editrice Vaticana<\/p>\n

 <\/td>\n<\/tr>\n

Encountering the Saints Series\u00a0 – by Pauline Books & Media<\/p>\n

Young Readers – The family loved these and they are short and move quickly. Some titles:<\/p>\n

Saint Martin de Porres \u2013 Humble Healer<\/p>\n

Saint Damien of Molokai \u2013 Hero of Hawaii<\/p>\n

Blessed Pier Georgio Frassati \u2013 Journey to the Summit<\/p>\n

Saint Maximillian Kolbe \u2013 Mary\u2019s Knight<\/td>\n

Various<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
Sun and Wind \u2013 The Legend of Joseph of Arimathea<\/p>\n

A historical fiction of the Christianization of Britain.\u00a0 We liked the way this story brought to life the slow unfurling of the good news that God had become man and calls all persons to eternal life. In general, we don\u2019t often consider what life would be like in a culture which had no concept of eternal life, or of a loving Creator. This story develops a scaffolding for considering the historicity of what has been seen, touched and experienced by those before us.<\/p>\n

(Our children also very much enjoyed fictional history of the first Christians of Rome in Junia<\/em> and Marcus, <\/em>both by Michel E. Giesler)<\/td>\n

William Boardman<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n

And many more\u2026, it\u2019s amazing what can be accomplished over time with a plan.\u00a0 52 weeks, twenty years, one-thousand hours, but in drops, like water, moving a mountain.\u00a0 Build a strong foundation and the faith will flourish through adversity and the swirls of contemporary confusion. Good luck! Enjoy!<\/p>\n

Download as pdf<\/a><\/p>\n

Return to blog page\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/a><\/u><\/p>\n

Go to NFP main page<\/a><\/u><\/p>\n

Timothy E. Jakubisin<\/p>\n

\u00a9 Copyright April, 2016 – 2018<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

How to raise a holy family.\u00a0 Tip number 3 – Spiritual Reading We’ve often met couples who love God and have struggled to raise a family, they\u2019ve maintained the practice […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1936,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[75,105,11,104],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1937","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-children-faith","category-faith-formation","category-home","category-spiritual-reading"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1937"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1975,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1937\/revisions\/1975"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1937"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1937"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neo-nfp.com\/main\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1937"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}